Two boys who both have the same ridiculously long name meet at a textile factory while attending a boarding school in Amsterdam. As it turns out, they’ve both dated 19 girls named Alaska, all of whom had cancer. In fact, everyone in this story has cancer. Anyway, one of the boys realizes that he is incredibly gay and writes a musical expounding his love for the other guy. On the day of the performance, however, guy number two disappears and guy number one has to go on an epic one-day transatlantic road trip to Tennessee where he discovers that guy number two is attempting to beat the world record for the largest collection of black amputee Santas. Then, in a heartbreaking twist that no one saw coming, all 38 Alaskas die on the same day, and guy number one commits suicide (OR WAS IT SUICIDE?!) by running his car headlong into a cow.
THE FUGGING END.